What's better than that wrapping paper? Nothing. That's what. DJ-ing snowmen are all I need in my life right now.
A joyful candle. Next to the card from my parent that accuses me of being a 'lovely daughter'. I am no such thing. It also has a badge. I shall wear it on Christmas morn whilst drunk and abusive and see if they still think I'm so 'lovely'.
In your face, compliments!
Nothing says Christmas quite like a row of 4 million santas on a mantelpiece. Note my advent calendar (looking disconcertingly like it's about to knock the 1970s carriage clock off). I'm 27.
Ah, the dreaded bowl of nuts. I eat the walnuts. Mum eats the almonds. Nobody can crack the brazil nuts open. The hazelnuts get thrown away each year without fail. I pity them and their little round souls.
Baubles at the Trafford Centre. Well there has to be something pretty to look at while you're queuing your life away in John Lewis on the night before Christmas Eve. I did get a pack of tags for 25p though. Reduced from £1. Who said the credit crunch was all bad? Ich liebe recession.
Escalation sensation.
Merry Christmas from the Behemoth!
It wants your soul.
