Greece - Summer, 2008
People think I'm daft. They think I'm flogging a dead horse. At least, they would if I vocalised how I'm feeling to them. But I don't. Because I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be told to 'get over it.' Because, quite simply, I don't want to get over it. How can you get over something that you thought was forever? That got ruined by accident. That could still be brought back to life.
So I live in hope.
In fact, I am eternally hopefully for better things. For myself. For him. For the us that could be. That should be. That should always have been.
I've put my heart on the line now. I've put it out there. All I can do is promise changes... promise to be different... promise to never let him down again. All I need is a chance. Just one.
Because the way I see it is... if you don't try, you'll never know what could have been. You'll always think 'what if?'. And there's nothing worse than that. No matter how scary the leap might be, if there's even a chance that you can grab happiness with both hands, you have to make that jump.
Is the sun setting or rising? Only time will tell...
Lastly, I'd just like to apologise to the poor soul who googled 'madonna deepthroat wine bottle' and ended up here. What a huge disappointment that must have been. No madge and her terrifying crotch here. Just me and my terrifying inability to let go of the person I love the most.
