Thou shalt always....

I stole this idea from the ever lovely miss smidge...

I wrote this a while ago but, despite recent developments, I thought I'd post it anyway. It makes me smile and I think it says a lot about who I am. I make no apologies for my little idiosyncrasies and crazy ways. They're what makes me who I am.


"1. Thou shalt embrace the fact I have a boyish sense of humour. I read b3ta, I laugh at innuendos, I make smutty jokes. I can be a lady when I need to be and my unshockable nature means you get away with a lot. Filth-tastic.

2. Thou shalt not mock my taste in music. Yes, I admit it, I am partial to Girls Aloud, Take That, Lady GaGa and numerous other not so credible 'artistes'. However, I also like anything with a dirty beat and am more than happy to listen to you mix for hours on end. In fact, I enjoy it. Mainly because I get to look at your bum ;)

3. Thou shalt not laugh at me and call me a loser for enjoying celebrity gossip and rubbish magazines like Closer. I know they are lame but they provide me with entertainment while you work far too hard. Besides, I know you secretly read them when I've left. Particularly the 'real life' stories. All men do.

4. Thou shalt let me sleep with the following celebrities if I ever met them: Mark Owen, Christian Bale, Alesha Dixon, Leighton Meester.

5. Thou shalt believe what I say and let bygones be bygones. The past is the past and we can't get to a future without letting go of it. Thou shalt believe and trust in me as I do for you. People change.

6. Thou shalt not complain if I text you more than once a day. I'm a woman. I like to communicate. It's what we do. Similarly, if I occasionally fish for a compliment, indulge me. Not all the time mind, I don't want to get too big for my boots.

7. Thou shalt give me warning when you've had a bad day at work. That way I can either not come round or I can come round armed with cheer up tactics/booze/breasts.

8. Thou shalt listen to me rant about my weight/work/money. I don't want you to find solutions for me. I just want you to listen, make the odd sympathetic noise and give me a hug. Which you actually do rather well most of the time.

9. Thou shalt not laugh at the fact I can talk the hind leg of a donkey. As I said before, I like to communicate. I know I talk too much but I have lots of words in my head and sometimes they spill out. Enjoy it. Be thankful that I feel I can tell you anything.

10. Thou shalt never take me for granted and thou shalt love me for exactly who I am, despite my faults. As I so willingly do for you."



"Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken"