- State that you're looking for a woman a) who won't nag you and b) with big breasts. It makes you look like a tosser. Women generally don't like tossers.
- Message someone with only the following words 'hi u luk cute lol'. Women like conversation. A bit of witty banter. A bit of a flirt. Not five words of text speak.
- Message someone with declarations that you think you could be really good together and that you'd move mountains to be with them. You've seen a couple of pictures on a website. Please get a grip.
- Similarly, if a woman doesn't reply to your message within a couple of hours, don't message again asking what you've done wrong. Desperation is not a good look.
- Don't send a message at 11.50am saying 'what are you doing today? let's go for lunch' if you've not even spoken to the person before. It makes you look like a rapist.
- Don't put pictures of yourself exclusively in 'comedy' drunken situations. Believe it or not, it is not the ambition of most women on those sites to find a man who thinks it's funny to moon at the camera. If we wanted that, we'd just head down to the nearest mid-sized chav-filled town, don some 'clothes' bought on the market and wait for the man traffic to trip over us/vomit on us/try and touch us up in an alley.
Seriously.
