Then I realised that I didn't know what to say. That I didn't know how to say what I want to say. What I need to say. So I stopped. And I tried to close the email.
"Your message has not been sent. Discard your message?"
So I clicked OK.
As soon as I discarded it I wondered why I'd felt compelled to even try to write it. Why yesterday, of all the days in the last few months? And then I realised...
It would have been our two year anniversary. Two years since that first date. That lunchtime drink that turned into a mid-afternoon Italian meal that turned into gin and tonics that turned into me on the train, drunk on both happiness and Bombay Sapphire, tipsily texting my friend B to tell her all about the boy I'd just met, that turned into me getting home and writing an entry on Livejournal...
"I met a boy.
I kind of like him.
No, I really like him.
Let all hell break loose...."
Silly girl, I had no idea how true those words were!
Does one word even count as a message? Maybe I should have sent it. Maybe one word can say more than a thousand words. Maybe one word can be an olive branch.
Hello.
