Dear Post Office
I've just spent my lunch hour queuing to send two packages. One to Nottingham. One to Oregon. You normally have about ten staff on the counters but today, on the last day of international posting before Christmas, you had two. Many thanks for that. I so enjoyed my 55 minute queuing experience and I felt compelled to write and tell you all about it.
I really can't decide which was my favourite part. There was, of course, the extreme joy that erupted in my heart every time another person's mobile phone (set to super loud, naturally) started belting out a joyous rave tune (welcome to Warrington). This joy was only heightened by the fact that the owners of said phones couldn't find them, so rummaged in their bags looking for them for what felt like 4 hours. Hilarious.
Then there was my experience of the wonderful ticketing system that you've introduced. Now, instead of queuing like normal people, we have to take a ticket and brave the gauntlet of what feels like a giant deli counter. Only with less scotch eggs and nice cheeses and more despair, dismay and postage-filled horror. I'm sure you can imagine my joy when, upon inspecting my ticket, I saw that there were 31 people in the queue in front of me. Wonderful!
What made my post office experience even better though (if that's possible!) was the realisation that, of the three 'queues' of tickets (special delivery, counter services and travel money), there were only people queing for counter services. This, of course, meant that whenever a newcomer to the post office circus of devastation took a ticket for special delivery or travel money, they got to jump the queue and get served next. HA! HA! HA! How me and the other 356 people in the queue for counter services laughed.
Waiting for number 84 to be called by the monotonous droning voice was truly one of the most uplifting, life affirming and festive experiences of my whole life. Thankyou post office, you really are wonderful. Have a fantastic Christmas.
Yours,
Helen xxx
